How to Pray
Updated: Aug 23
Prayer is not something we have to perfect. Prayer is an invitation into relationship with a loving God.
Many of us have wondered: Am I praying enough? Am I doing it correctly? Why can't I hear God? What if I don't feel anything?
But prayer does not have to look one particular way. Sometimes we speak. Sometimes we listen. Sometimes we ask. Sometimes we sit silently. Sometimes prayer is gratitude, Scripture, walking, crying, questioning, or simply saying, “God, I’m here.”
The goal isn't to become better at prayer. It is to become more open to relationship with God.
The Prayer Process
One structure that can help us develop that relationship is The Prayer Process. Set aside a minute, ten minutes, or whatever time you have. There is no magic amount of time.
The Prayer Process offers seven simple movements:
Gratitude — What am I grateful for today?
Awareness — When did I feel most and least like the person I want to be?
Significant Moments — What moment, person, or experience stands out? What might God be inviting me to notice?
Peace — Where do I need forgiveness, healing, or peace?
Freedom — Where might God be inviting me toward greater freedom, love, or growth?
Others — Who do I want to hold in prayer today?
Closing — Finish with the Our Father or another prayer that is meaningful to you.
The structure is a guide, not a test. You might spend ten minutes on one step and skip another entirely.
When Prayer Is Hard
Prayer can be difficult.
Sometimes God feels close. Sometimes God feels distant.
Sometimes we pray desperately for something and don't receive the answer we hoped for. Sometimes we don't know what to say. Sometimes we're angry with God. And sometimes our experiences with religion have made approaching God complicated.
All of that can come into prayer.
You don't have to clean yourself up emotionally before talking to God. Relationship requires honesty.
Philippians 4:6 invites us to bring our requests to God with thanksgiving. Scripture repeatedly gives us permission to ask God for what we need. Prayer can hold our gratitude and our deepest desires.
What I've Learned
Over the course of my own life, I've learned that my prayer life changes. There have been seasons when I needed words and seasons when I needed silence. Times when I prayed very specific prayers and times when all I could do was sit with God. I've become less concerned with whether I'm praying correctly and more interested in whether I'm showing up authentically.
I have also learned to look for God beyond the moments we traditionally label “spiritual.” God can meet us in ordinary life—in conversations, nature, work, relationships, difficult decisions, laughter, beauty, and even uncertainty. Prayer has become less about getting God's attention and more about learning to notice a God who is already present.
Augustine: God Within
Saint Augustine offers one way of understanding prayer: turn inward and become quiet enough to notice God.
Augustinian prayer invites us away from some of the noise and distraction surrounding us and into contemplation.
You might simply sit quietly and ask:
God, what do you want me to notice?
Then listen.
You don't have to manufacture an answer.
Ignatius: Finding God in All Things
Saint Ignatius offers another approach: look for God within your actual life.
Ignatian spirituality teaches us to find God in all things—not only churches, Scripture, or explicitly religious experiences.
One of its best-known practices is the Daily Examen. At the end of your day, look back and ask:
Where did I experience love, peace, connection, or life today? Where did I feel disconnected? What am I grateful for? What might God be showing me?
Ignatian prayer can also involve imagination. When reading Scripture, imagine yourself inside the story.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
Who are you in the scene?
What do you notice about Jesus?
What might God be saying to you through the story?
Scripture as Prayer
Scripture can also become a doorway into prayer—if Scripture feels comfortable and life-giving for you.
You don't have to read an entire chapter or understand everything historically or theologically.
Choose a short passage or even one sentence.
Read it slowly.
Notice a word or phrase that catches your attention.
Read it again.
Ask:
Why might this be speaking to me today?
Then sit with it.
For example:
“Pray without ceasing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Rather than interpreting this as pressure to pray constantly, consider the possibility that your whole life can become a conversation with God.
Five Simple Ways to Begin
If you're wondering How should I pray?, experiment.
Talk. Speak honestly to God as you would to someone who deeply loves you.
Listen. Sit quietly and ask, “God, what might you want me to notice?”
Notice. Look for God in your day—in beauty, people, nature, emotions, and unexpected moments.
Reflect. Look back over your day with God through the Prayer Process or Examen.
Rest. Sit with God without saying anything. Imagine sitting beside someone you love. Nothing needs to happen.
And if none of these work for you, that's okay. Find the form of prayer that helps you experience connection.
Other Ways to Pray
Prayer can also look like:
Breath prayer: “God is with me. I am held.”
Walking prayer
Sitting in silence
Journaling
Naming what you truly feel
Praying for another person
Noticing beauty
Bringing God a question
Letting-go prayer
Body-awareness prayer
Gratitude
Reading Scripture contemplatively
Sitting with God without words
Prayer is relationship, not performance.
There is no perfect prayer.
You don't have to use beautiful words.
You don't have to pray for a certain amount of time.
You don't have to feel peaceful.
You don't have to hear an answer.
You can bring gratitude, anger, fear, hope, doubt, disappointment, joy, and questions.
God can handle your honesty.
My challenge to you this week is simple: talk to God who wants to be your friend.
Choose one way of praying that feels natural to you and give it a few minutes.
Maybe talk while you're driving.
Sit quietly before bed.
Take a walk.
Try The Prayer Process.
Read one line of Scripture.
Ask God for something you deeply desire.
Or simply say: “God, I'm here. Help me notice that You are here too.”
A Closing Invitation
These practices are not about doing more. They are about noticing more. Noticing where God may already be present. Noticing what is true within you. Noticing what feels life-giving, even in small ways.
Everything you are and want to be is already within you, exactly as you are.
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